一 ichi

My depression began in summer and lasts through winter I guess.

But wouldn’t you be depressed if you’d realize that you’ve failed again. That you’ve clinged to your old self like a leech to human body. That you saw something which was never really there. And that it’s to shameful to lose because you told everybody how great it was in the beginning? Actually I wanted to prove something to you but in the end I only proved me wrong. We always try to find explanations in behaviors and relationships but why can’t we accept that sometimes there is no explanation, just we as we love to fail over and over again. Maybe failure is my only reliable characteristic. Somebody is wise if he fails over and over again but another one is stupid because he repeats the same mistakes over and over again. I would really like to call myself stupid but actually I am really not. Still high hopes remain dreams and illusions, actually they’re all lies. At least you can call yourself a “Koksnutte” now. In your face motherfucker!

Und dann knallt er mir die Tür in’s Gesicht! Arsch****

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